Lt. Francis Grimes is the head of the Department of Integration's Law Enforcement Department. He is voiced by Larry Murphy.


Despite being a law enforcer, he has many disturbing psychological problems and severe rage issues. He also maintains several sidejobs, including working as a hospital security guard and a hitman for hire. Grimes commands a goon squad that operates out of the DOI's "force floor".

It is revealed in the episode "Better Off Undead" that Grimes was born on April 5th, 1954 and is 6'2" tall.

In "Mummy Dearest", Grimes' mother rises from the dead as a mummy, so Grimes is very likely to be an Egyptian. Also it is revealed that Grimes wears a toupée.

Grimes on Non-HumansEdit

Grimes' encounters with unruly creatures have left him with a lifetime's worth of both physical scars, such as his missing kneecap, and emotional ones, as that stemming from his broken marriage. Thus, he naturally detests immigrants, Mark Lilly and anyone else who sympathizes with the immigrants. He has utter disdain for non-humans, preferring to think of them all as "illegal", he hunts down those who have strayed from the proper bureaucratic procedures that provide a path to U.S. Citizenship. However in later episodes he has shown to lighten up on the immigrants and will sometimes help them and Mark with problems, he has shown to be friends with several non-humans such as Leonard Powers and Doug.

He specially has a searing hatred towards vampires since his wife Vera left him for one. He admires Van Hellsing, who has brought vampires nearly to extinction, and even has all kinds of fan articles of Van Hellsing, including a lunchbox. This hate is lessened after he gets cured from the Mad Larry Disease by a medicament developed by Blake's father, also a vampire, in "So, You Want to Be a Vampire?"


Grimes has 15 daughters but no son for his ex-wife Vera "could never stick the landing", as revealed in "Wail Street". One of them, Tristan, marries the vampire Blake and becomes a vampire as well in an earlier episode "So, You Want to Be a Vampire?" Some of the other daughters have been mentioned and their names are Suri, Zahara, Shiloh, Moon Unit, Apple, Rumer and Pilot Inspektor (these are names Hollywood celebrities have given their children). Eventually, Vera left him and married the vampire "The Count". However, Grimes stabs the Count in the chest with a drumstick and disintegrates him when he tells Grimes "how to run the band".

Grimes had a very domineering mother and she rises from the dead as a mummy in "Mummy Dearest". She begins to interfere with his life and later goes rampant in the DOI. She tells him that he was a "naughty mistake with the gardener". He finally summons the Egyptian god of death Anubis to put her back to rest.

He marries the stomach bacteria Princess Chlamydia inside Twayne Boneraper's body in "Journey to the Center of Twayne". After he has left, he keeps in touch with her through a cellphone left behind in Twayne's body.

It is shown in "Better Off Undead", that he is attracted to older women and quite a womanizer in the old women's scene.

Side Jobs and Alternate IdentitiesEdit


Episode AbsencesEdit

While Grimes is a main character, he is absent from the following episodes:


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Series and Games Ugly Americans   ‧   5 On   ‧   FUGLY    |    Citizen Ugly   ‧   Apocalypsegeddon
Characters Main Mark Lilly  ‧  Randall Skeffington  ‧  Callie Maggotbone  ‧  Leonard Powers  ‧  Twayne Boneraper  ‧  Francis Grimes
Recurring Aldermach Maggotbone  ‧  Rosie  ‧  Melchior  ‧  Goon squad
Mark's class :   Croatian Man  ‧  Doug  ‧  Erik  ‧  Great Brain  ‧  Martin  ‧  Toby

Matt Oberg  ‧  Kurt Metzger  ‧  Natasha Leggero  ‧  Randy Pearlstein  ‧  M.L. Wooley  ‧  Larry Murphy  ‧  Julie Klausner  ‧  Devin Clark  ‧  Pete Holmes  ‧  Mike O'Gorman
Writers Devin Clark (creator)  ‧  David M. Stern (development)  ‧  Daniel Powell (exec. producer)  ‧  Greg White  ‧  Bill Krebs  ‧  Jeff Poliquin  ‧  Aaron Blitzstein  ‧  Nate Federman  ‧  Kevin Shinick
Directors Devin Clark  ‧  Aaron Augenblick (supervising producer)  ‧  Richard Ferguson-Hull
Species (list) Demon  ‧  Human  ‧  Manbird  ‧  Succubus  ‧  Vampire  ‧  Wizard  ‧  Zombie
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